


stop

by lourryalrightee



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Depressed Louis, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Harry, Hurt/Comfort, I'm so sorry, Inspired by Music, Louis-centric, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Sad Louis, Self-Harm, Self-Harming Louis, Short, Stop - Freeform, also written in 3 hours, cut, didn't really succeed, dying, i dont really know what i wrote, it gets better though, it might be very confusing, louis doesnt know it, sorry for this, stop by dalton rapattoni, suicidal, verse, written in verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-05
Updated: 2015-10-06
Packaged: 2018-04-24 22:36:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 136
Words: 2,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4937770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourryalrightee/pseuds/lourryalrightee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"lou, are you happy?"</p><p>i nod.</p><p>"are you sure?"</p><p>i shake my head.</p><p>"i just want everything to stop."</p><p> </p><p>or; the one where louis can't save himself, and, he wonders if harry can save him in time.</p><p>written in verse and short sentences. hence the many chapters. you'll probably finish it under 15 minutes and think about it for 15 days.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> at least i did.

maybe life is after all

 

a joke

 

maybe it's all

 

just a story

 

every one has their own story

 

but tonight

 

i'm not gonna live mine

 

till the end

 

tonight, maybe


	2. Chapter 2

everything

 

around me is

 

fuzzy

 

but it's good fuzzy

 

i like fuzzy

 

because it means i don't have to care

 

about everything else

 

i can hide in my own world

 

as everything goes on

 

i can be left behind


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **_//it's alright to die cause it's the only thing that you haven't tried// even my dad does sometimes - ed sheeran_ **

the railing i'm pulling on

 

is strangled under my hands

 

it's swimming away from me

 

or is it only my eyes

 

deceiving me


	4. Chapter 4

sometimes i want to swim

 

get lost in the ocean

 

maybe everything can end

 

they can end peacefully

 

someday if you find me

 

i'll be gone before your fingers can touch mine

 

maybe the sea is infinity


	5. Chapter 5

i just want everything to stop


	6. Chapter 6

it's getting loud

 

the demons in my head

 

please don't haunt me


	7. Chapter 7

i met a boy today

 

his name is harry

 

he sits down next to me in lunch and gives me a forget-me-not

 

of the most beautiful lilac i've ever seen

 

he has the greenest green eyes and

 

the curliest curls of them all

 

and he smiles

 

something in me fades away

it's gone

never gonna come back


	8. Chapter 8

what are we doing here, humans

 

are we just gonna exist

 

for giving birth to our next generation

 

what are we doing here


	9. Chapter 9

why do we have to live


	10. Chapter 10

i wanna escape


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//i don't care, go on and tear me apart// a sky full of star - coldplay_ **

the monsters in my heart

 

is painting a picture of my tar black soul

 

and i don't mind


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **  
> _//if you never try you'll never know// fix you - coldplay_  
>  **

harry smiles at me again today

 

he asks me to go have lunch with him

 

i say yes

 

everything is a blur

why does nothing matter anymore?


	13. Chapter 13

maybe i am not meant to be here anyways


	14. Chapter 14

i want everything to stop


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <https://youtu.be/BlDv44SeKBY>

oh who's gonna hold back my demons

 

they're swimming in the caribbean


	16. Chapter 16

slow down 

 

 

everything

 

please

 

i'm falling

 

down

 

down

 

down


	17. Chapter 17

and i'm gonna

 

drown

 

drown

 

drown

 

if i die young tonight

 

don't miss me


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//you are my own personal insane asylum// personal insane asylum - fly away hero_ **

"lou, are you happy?"

 

i nod.

 

"are you sure?"

 

i shake my head.


	19. Chapter 19

sometimes i want to lay down

 

on a pile of grass

 

fresh green grass

 

and lets the unbearable loudness takes away the weight of being


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <https://youtu.be/-J2TVzuR_T0>

i wanna fade

 

maybe the butterflies are gonna take me tonight


	21. Chapter 21

wait, why am i still holding on


	22. Chapter 22

today me and harry go back to his place to watch a movie

 

it's the lion king

 

he cried

 

i laughed

 

he turned around with the biggest smile i've ever seen

 

makes me bit proud


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//your eyes are the mirror to take me to the edge again// grade 8 - ed sheeran_ **

give me love like it's the only thing burning in the room


	24. Chapter 24

sometimes

 

when i'm hurting in the inside

 

i hurt myself on the outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> black parade


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//here's a heartbeat for a heartbreaker// heartbreaker - ryn weaver_ **

my mom told me

 

"are you done with it?

 

are you freaking done with being sad?

 

i just want you to be happy

 

why can't you be happy

 

be a good boy?"

 

i wanna scream at her

 

i wanna explain

 

how she is the reason i'm not happy

 

and maybe sometimes i wanna die too

 

but i'm too tired

 

everything is too jumbled for me to make a sound


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//can you feel my heart?// bring me the horizon_ **

so i go back to my room and weep


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <https://youtu.be/CC_a6u-D3xs>

everything floats

 

maybe i'm floating

 

i feel peaceful

 

i wanna go to bed

 

and laugh like a maniac


	28. Chapter 28

sometimes i let the blades of these words i scream in my mind cut through my skin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry


	29. Chapter 29

my favourite colour is red

 

it looks beautiful when it runs down my body

 

i can finally sigh in relief

 

my phone lights up

 

it's a call from harry

 

i talked to him

 

i think he can sense something off in me

 

but he didn't say anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol


	30. Chapter 30

thank you


	31. Chapter 31

someone in school says everything is gonna be okay in the end

 

i told them

 

"it doesn't matter to me even if i'm not okay"


	32. Chapter 32

like i'll ever be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for the person giving kudos just now


	33. Chapter 33

i didn't wanna get out of bed

 

but i've a date with harry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mcrmy


	34. Chapter 34

i fell back on my bed

 

and cried some again

 

the voice in my mind says

 

"you're pathetic."

 

i say,

 

"yes i'm pathetic."


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please please watch [this video](https://youtu.be/IWGzcFOioTo)

i slept over at harry's

 

he lets me be the big spoon

 

i have something to hold on


	36. Chapter 36

sometimes when i close my eyes

 

i see black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is actually so silly. haha i dont care


	37. Chapter 37

maybe if you go i'll go too


	38. Chapter 38

every breath is getting hard

 

my head hurts


	39. Chapter 39

i look up

 

i'm on the bathroom tile

 

i frown

 

what is this?


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <https://youtu.be/fDq5uPcWKEM>

a river of crimson

 

painting the white tile red

 

i made art

 

i love art

 

are those the screams of my broken heart?

 

can you feel my heart?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't promote self harming, i'm just stating the truth of the mind inside a self harmer. sorry


	41. Chapter 41

it feels like kinda dying

 

i feel faint

 

like throwing up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for everyone who is putting up with this story. i know i dont make much sense.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh to honour the 42nd chapter go listen to "42" by coldplay one of my fav song ever.

it hits me again

 

please, give me a fucking warning at least


	43. Chapter 43

i don't wanna go back home

 

i'm gonna be trapped

 

i wanna be free

 

i wanna escape

 

maybe then the words my mom speaks won't hurt as much


	44. Chapter 44

as it won't matter anymore


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ((this chapter is dedicated to the ever so lovely Kelli, thank you for getting me all poetic (; ))

i wanna run naked in the wild and look up and gaze at the stars and gives each of them a name like the pet names you give me and maybe it's night time it's not right but it feels right

 

never want to see the sky turns bright


	46. Chapter 46

my mom yells at me

she slams a palm down the table

 

along with every word she says

 

my heart is jumping out of my skin

 

i can't focus

 

the layer of fuzz in my head like crowding on me like a layer

 

i feel safe

 

at the same time exposed

 

she didn't hit me like last time

 

but it doesn't matter

 

i can't think

 

my head hurts

 

what's happening to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chappie is very triggering to me lol thanks mom


	47. Chapter 47

my insides are fighting against my outsides

 

i wanna crawl at my arms

 

scratch everything out

 

tear myself apart

 

apologise for every fault i've made

 

everything i've done to lead me up to

 

this madness

 

maybe i'm mad

 

maybe we're all mad here

 

the memories will carry on

 

i will not

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i miss them


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//will you defeat them, your demons?// welcome to the back parade - my chemical romance_ **

i am gasping

 

i can't breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG


	49. Chapter 49

i'm still gasping

 

i ran out of the classroom and into a toilet

 

i feel strong arms around me

 

soft voice beside me

 

i gagged and i screamed


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fuzzy

my heart contracts within my chest

 

i fall down

 

i'm falling free

 

someone is thumbing at my cheeks

 

i didn't know i'm crying

 

until i see myself in those green eyes


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//stuck in reverse with no way out// infinity - one direction_ **

i sob into those chest

 

i sob for everything wrong i've done

 

i sob for every pink lines on my wrist

 

on my hip

 

everywhere

 

i sob for being born this way

 

my own mother hurting me

 

my head hurts

 

i wanna close my eyes and watch everything disappear


	52. Chapter 52

if only i could disappear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hold on guys


	53. Chapter 53

"i'm tired.

 

wanna go to bed."

 

i looks up and told him

 

my own voice sounds distant

 

i'm forgetting how to even walk


	54. Chapter 54

he says, "okay, sweets, it's okay

 

let's get you out of here

 

you'll be okay

 

i'm not gonna leave you."

 

more tears escape my eyes

 

i whisper a thank you

 

he kisses the top of my head

 

it feels good

 

less fuzzy

 

but better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> depression isnt for to be romanticized. but oh well, only slight fluff because i'm being a meanie


	55. Chapter 55

am i a living joke?


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//as i feel myself fall, make a joke of it all// moments - one direction (written by ed sheeran)_ **

i remember those days i used to play on the streets

 

kicking balls with my feet

 

where did they go?

 

where is my mind?


	57. Chapter 57

strangled hearts

 

jumbled thoughts


	58. Chapter 58

harry finds out about the scars

 

that litter across my wrists

 

there are not many

 

because each one covers

 

the old ones beneath it

 

i've never seen a person so crestfallen

 

"fuck. i should've known something like this would happen."

 

it makes my heart race a bit

 

feels strange


	59. Chapter 59

"sorry."

 

i say

 

even though i kinda feel nothing

 

detached, ah, there's the word

 

it's good

 

i don't have to feel anything

 

i don't have to think

 

this way it will hurt less

 

before i could reckon what's happening

 

my arms are being lifted up

 

and a pair of warm lips are being pressed to it

 

onto each parallel link lines

 

i watch on in silence

 

mouth slightly dropped

 

there is a person who cares


	60. Chapter 60

he kisses each one

 

even the a bit bloodied ones that i did last night

 

the warmth lingers on

 

i suddenly wonder how it would be like having those lips

 

on mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ao3 sucks ass sometimes


	61. Chapter 61

and then it feels hot

 

but a shiver goes down my spine

 

almost like those that does when sharp blades would touch skin

 

but it is different

 

because for once i'm not crying when it happens

 

so i wait


	62. Chapter 62

"is there any more?"

 

he asks quietly, the quietest i've ever heard him

 

i nod, gesturing to my hip

 

"there's a few there too," i whisper too,

 

"a bit more than what i have on my wrists."

 

he nods too

 

then picks up my arms again

 

looking at me dead in the eyes


	63. Chapter 63

i take in a breath.

 

I kinda understand now

 

why people say eyes can speak

 

and now they speak a language that I don't understand

 

"stop, louis, please stop. don't do this anymore."

 

i want everything to stop too.


	64. Chapter 64

the first time mom found out my cuts

 

she scolds me

 

yells at me

 

shouts

 

she says only gangster do those

 

and wannabes

 

fake people

 

said i'm a bad boy

 

that's when hell broke lose

 

i feel hurt

 

probably the last time i allow myself to feel it

 

now i put everything to the inside

 

they could never come out


	65. Chapter 65

"sorry."

 

is the only response i say

 

but harry shakes his head and shushes me

 

"no, please don't say you're sorry. you don't have to be sorry for something like this

 

but please stop, promise me, please stop"

 

i shrug.

 

harry leans closer, his face is closer to me

 

"it hurts me, seeing how you always look so sad. so can you promise to stop, for me?"

 

i bite my lips.

 

it's those monsters

 

always following me

 

never leaving me

 

i too want to be free


	66. Chapter 66

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//be strong and hold my hand// the light behind your eyes - my chemical romance_ **

harry sighs and reaches out

 

brushing off a lock of hair that blocks my eyes

 

"are you going to cry?" he asks softly

 

"i don't know."

 

"okay."

 

"okay."

 

he pulls me into his chest

 

i didn't fight against it

 

"shh, it's okay, i'm gonna try my best to make you okay."

 

we both know it can't be correct

 

i'm too gone


	67. Chapter 67

he leans in

 

kissing my forehead on top of my hair

 

then at my closed eyes

 

tip of my nose

 

then sighs

 

I feel his hot breath

 

the voice in my head says

 

what are you gonna do?

 

i ignores it

 

as harry's lips press on mine

 

i move it against his

 

my brain shuts down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all kudos and comments


	68. Chapter 68

harry's full on dimpled smile

 

ignites something in me

 

something foreign

 

but for him

 

i might learn to get used

 

and like it


	69. Chapter 69

if only everything can stop


	70. Chapter 70

i want peace


	71. Chapter 71

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//go back to sleep// little bird - ed sheeran_ **

my head hurts again

 

i want to sleep


	72. Chapter 72

harry sings me to it


	73. Chapter 73

sometimes i'm too sad

 

i can't function


	74. Chapter 74

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//sick cycle carousel by LifeHouse//_ **

when will this end?

 

it goes on and on


	75. Chapter 75

i'm gonna throw it all away

 

i'm gonna end it all


	76. Chapter 76

i'm falling apart

 

who can save me from this

 

lonely

 

lonely

 

darkness


	77. Chapter 77

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//but now i'm gone for good// misunderstood - fly away hero_ **

he tells me,

 

"i can save you tonight, i can hold them back for you."


	78. Chapter 78

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//under the surface, we're all the same// misunderstood - fly away hero_ **

but i kiss him

 

and says

 

"i want to stop too."


	79. Chapter 79

he lights up a bit,

 

"then stop."


	80. Chapter 80

i sigh

 

"no, haz, i want everything to stop

 

i want me to stop

 

i want everything to end."

 

he's not happy

 

i feel a bit guilty


	81. Chapter 81

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//Killjoys, make some noise// na na na - my chemical fucking romance_ **

"i will catch you when you fall."

 

i chuckle against his broad chest


	82. Chapter 82

maybe i can be saved.


	83. Chapter 83

maybe we're all gonna forget one day


	84. Chapter 84

i love

 

 

 

 

 


	85. Chapter 85

what am i waiting for

 

why don't i end it all


	86. Chapter 86

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//every time i see you looking back at me// never stop - safetysuit_ **

"don't get too attached."

 

they say.


	87. Chapter 87

today is the worst of them all


	88. Chapter 88

i don't know what i've done

 

i forgot to make my bed this morning

 

mom flipped out

 

literally

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont judge


	89. Chapter 89

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//you can run if you want to// new constellation - ryn weaver_ **

this is so ridiculous

 

 

 

 


	90. Chapter 90

but yet, i carry my blade to the bathroom

 

i apologise for every bad deeds i've done

 

like what i've done now

 

i'm so pathetic

 

can't even do one thing straight


	91. Chapter 91

but then, whimpering

 

i dial the number that i have memorized

 

with the face that i have come to love on the screen to match

 

he says he'll come


	92. Chapter 92

i cry for the lies i've said to my face


	93. Chapter 93

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//so just save yourself i'll hold them back tonight// save yourself, i'll hold them back - my chemical romance_ **

he honks

 

i walk out

 

the rain is stinging my skin

 

as the tears fall down my face

 

i cannot feel it

 

i rush to harry's car

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you motherfuckeeeeeer~~


	94. Chapter 94

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//baby heaven's in your eyes// national anthem - lana deal rey_ **

he hands me a single forget-me-not

 

i wonder if it holds any meanings

 

i push my clenched fist to him and open it upwards

 

revealing the sharp blade that i haven't used

 

he beams at me and says, "i'm proud of you."

 

i reply a small "thank you" and sniff at the flower

 

"let's go home."

 

he says, as he is restarting the engine

 

i nod

 

home.

 

home is not a place it's a person.


	95. Chapter 95

home is also not just a name it's an idea


	96. Chapter 96

but every good thing must come to an end

 

as do i

 

i'm always clinging on the roof for my dear life

 

and now i am exhausted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fin-fucking-nally


	97. Chapter 97

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//from the day I saw my heart start breaking no one saved me// octahate - ryn weaver_ **

i killed all the butterflies

 

on my hip


	98. Chapter 98

i'm sorry

 

 

 

 


	99. Chapter 99

i'm spiralling


	100. Chapter 100

help

 

 

 

 


	101. Chapter 101

help me 

 

 

 

 


	102. Chapter 102

save me from myself harry my demons can't drown


	103. Chapter 103

we're climbing too high

 

sometimes we have to go down


	104. Chapter 104

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//i need you to come here to save me// off to the races - lana del rey_ **

i feel dizzy


	105. Chapter 105

do we actually exist?

 

or is it just a dream?

 

is it all a joke?


	106. Chapter 106

i'm chewing on my nails to keep my fingers from scratching open all my healed wounds

 

i'm a freak


	107. Chapter 107

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//i love you but i'm going down// off to the races - lana del rey_ **

i'm sorry

 

 

 

 


	108. Chapter 108

so sorry       


	109. Chapter 109

i'm leaving all my clothes on the end of harry's bed

 

i hope he'll remember me

 

for i know i will forever forget him not


	110. Chapter 110

i'm walking out

 

this room is full of suicides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sigh*


	111. Chapter 111

at the end, all lights will fade away


	112. Chapter 112

rage

 

rage

 

rage


	113. Chapter 113

i'm having a picture of harry in my hands

 

i'm gonna kiss him goodbye now


	114. Chapter 114

also, bye to the world

 

and bye mom

 

even if you hurt me the most

 

i cannot not love you

 

you're my mom

 

the one supposed to protect me

 

not the other way round


	115. Chapter 115

but nothing matters anymore

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we dont need to be very sad to be sad


	116. Chapter 116

i'm torn

 

 

 

 


	117. Chapter 117

i kiss harry on the lips

 

whispering

 

"i love you"

 

against the piece of polaroid

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G F# B E D G C B E A D


	118. Chapter 118

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [pic enjoy (:](https://d.wattpad.com/story_parts/171687702/images/1408e71e768f234b.jpg)
> 
> (this pic is not triggering relax)

"i'm so sorry harry,

 

i just want everything to stop,

 

i love you,

 

i want forget-me-nots on my grave,

 

please find one that is as beautiful as the ones you gave me."

 

i text him

 

locking my phone

 

i sigh

 

stepping on the edge


	119. Chapter 119

as i lean back

 

i hear a call


	120. Chapter 120

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_//you're a heart attack in black hair dye// save yourself i'll hold them back - my chemical romance_ **

my heart contracts again

 

beating

 

jumping

 

humping

 

trashing 

 

it feels like a lot

 

it feels like too much


	121. Chapter 121

you are having your hand out

 

screaming

 

"stop!"


	122. Chapter 122

i love you


	123. Chapter 123

"please stop!"


	124. Chapter 124

let me go  

 

 

 

 


	125. Chapter 125

"stop!"

 

 

 


	126. Chapter 126

but i guess you are just a little bit too late

 

i smile up at you

 

a real smile in ages


	127. solace

finally

 

 

 


	128. Chapter 128

i touch your fingertips on my way down falling

 

they burn a hole in my hand


	129. Chapter 129

then i'm falling

 

 

 

down

 

down

 

down

 

i'm leaving this world

 

leaving it all behind


	130. Chapter 130

as i feel myself fall

 

i make a joke of it all

 

oh, maybe i'm falling faster than i fall for you,

 

harry,

 

that's a great joke

 

actually


	131. Chapter 131

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> <https://youtu.be/NceMrO8pGcI>

i feel nothing

 

yet everything at the same time

 

mostly i feel free

 

gravity is finally working for me

 

for once it's pulling my focus to the ground


	132. Chapter 132

then when i look up i see you looking down on me

 

screaming,

 

crying,

 

begging,

 

pleading,

 

weeping.


	133. Chapter 133

that's when everything stopped


	134. Chapter 134

stopped

 

 

 


	135. Chapter 135

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **_// // 4'33 - john cage_ **

stop

 

 

 

 


	136. finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dont worry be happy

**_louis william tomlinson, 1991-2073, died of old age_ **

 

**_harry edward styles, 1994-2074, died of heartbreak_ **

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey so, hi everyone. here's my story "Stop"
> 
> i can't believe i finish this whole thing in the span of only 3 hours.
> 
> this story is entirely based on the song "[Stop](https://youtu.be/w1BrldHj11g)" by Dalton Rapattoni/Fly Away Hero, the song is one of the most inspiring and deep i've ever listened these days, which recalls a lot of memories from my past and thus, inspires me to write this story.
> 
> as i've said, this story is actually based on 99% of the song lyrics and plot to be written, i'm been streaming the song for days before i finally to get this thing off my chest, so hope you enjoy!
> 
> another thing is that, i'm sorry that i leave a quite ambiguous ending. at first i really want to end it at verse 135, like how the song originally end at. however, i think we all have to have some faith and hope, so i added it. whatever happens after verse 135, you can decide yourself. since me myself don't even know.
> 
> i strongly recommend you guys to go check out Fly Away Hero, it's really really cool, at least for nowadays artists. Dalton is only like, barely 20. *heart eyes*
> 
> and...i don't know if you understand what i'm writing in this story, i don't know if it makes sense, because i don't make much sense myself too haha. anyways, please stay strong guys, it might seem pretentious of me to tell you guys to stay strong since i'm also one with problems. but, believe me, it will all be better. we can find our solace in this. we can find peace, even if we can't find happiness.
> 
> now i'm very sure i don't make much sense but you can't blame me, it's 4 at midnight, guess you can say this story is made in the a.m. (;
> 
> cheers.
> 
> and also, despite "Stop" by FAH being the main inspiration, I also use quite a lot of reference from "Moments" by 1D and "Save yourself, I'll hold them back" by MCR.
> 
> p.s. apart from lyrics from "Stop" (all credits go to Dalton Louis Rapattoni btw!!!!!), the back stories, everything that happens to Louis, based on my own experiences, my true story. just thought you'd like to know.
> 
> \- jaymi ♔


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